The sinking in of good advice…..

This is a post on the value of listening to the opinions of others, especially that of gallery curators, directors, and owners.  I was given a great opportunity to share my work with a very prestigious gallery and in the process of showing them my work, I was given the gift of hearing their opinion and critique of my work in person.  I felt stripped and naked as they perused my paintings.  It was not quite as uneasy as it sounds, in fact it was almost one of the greatest experiences in my life, once I got past the point of taking everything so personally.  I got to hear what appeals to their clientele and why, valuable information for finding your place in the art world.  I also got to hear how my work measured up to the standards of their clientele and of their gallery. You want to put your work in a gallery that will be a good fit, your work needs to stand on its own but also the work needs to be of the same maturity of the other work in the gallery and mesh well in mix of work.  I also got to hear what they personally felt about my work, which was yet another insight in to the mind of someone else, all terribly valuable information to any artist.   I found my message was resonating on levels that I had not known, and I was pleased with that; but I also was given the advice that a few pieces did not feel finished to them needed more work done on them.   I was stunned at these words when I heard it at first; then on the drive home, I digested the comments over and over until I distilled them into good reference points to use in the future.

I paint from my mind’s eye and I do have a limited view of how it is perceived in the real world by others, unless you swallow your pride and  you put your work up and let someone tell you honestly what they think is good, bad, or worse boring about your work, then you may never push yourself to go further.   I don’t think I could have done  this in the beginning of my art career, I remember tearfully the times anyone would negatively comment on my work and I would get my feelings bruised and put a wall up that protected my ego; but at the same time kept me captive within the borders of what I thought I knew about myself.  Years later I find myself in a place that is ripe and waiting to hear what others think about my work.   There is quite simply no greater gift to an artist than an opinion by someone that is unbiased, knowledgeable and truthful.

One of the pieces that I took with me, was  Shadow Puppets, I was quite pleased with it, but that was not the opinion of group critique.  I was unsure of myself at this point, they did not want this piece.  What was so different about this one, how was it different than the ones they chose to keep?   I brought it home, put it away, and tried not to think about it for awhile, but for the last month it has nagged me to revisit it.  My first thought was to just  take  the painting as is and  put it in one of my other galleries, afterall, perhaps they would not see the unfinish that this gallery saw, everyone has a different idea of things. In my heart I knew the truth was evident  and I knew they were spot on in their opinion.  I knew I needed to learn something from the opinions that  I was given.  I trust and value their opinions and I did not want to waste this opportunity, so once again, I put it  on the easel. It looked foreign to me now for the first time, I was seeing it in a new light, a questioning light that would give me new ideas and insights, or so I hoped.   I looked at it for awhile, then to keep from starting on it, I tooled around the studio, glancing back every so often to see if I could see the unfinish they so clearly could see.  After a couple of hours of performing the avoidance dance around the painting, I backed my ears,  I prepared my palette and jumped right back in as if the painting had never been wired for hanging.   This was not without anguish, and not for the faint of heart, but if I lost it all, then perhaps it was meant to be.  I always know when I face my easel, no matter how far along a painting is, there is always the opportunity to make it more, or to destroy it, so this would be no different.  I like this uncertainty, it keeps me humble and honest with myself.

Shadow Puppets original by Cathy Hegman

I approached it with these questions:

What do I want to say with this piece? It began as a bridge piece between two series of works, the Dark Alice and the Manipulation series.  I am taking it more toward the Manipulation series in this update.

What is missing that will give this painting a more mature feel? In all honesty the painting seems to have a too slick appearance for me, it needs more texture to make the eye linger and want to stay in areas.  The painting design as a whole is so simplistic, it begs for something to slow you down and make you want to stay.  Texture is needed…

Why did I choose the original palette and does it need to change or be modified?

I chose the original palette because I am trying to make myself less reliant on hues and more on design.  I like the palette and will keep it but modify some of the hues to add to the interest factor.

Do I need to give up and paint the whole painting over?  Oh Lord, I hope not….that is almost like giving up and I am persistent if nothing else.

These questions led me to find my way to what I feel is becoming a  more profound and definitely more polished piece.  It is not completed but it is well on it’s way to being a contender for a place in a gallery.   I will post the progress in future posts!

There is always the difficulty of finding finish in your work.  I will on occasion walk through my house and see something that I think needs just a little tweak and off the wall it comes and the enhancements begin.  I will not lie and say it always works as an improvement but I learn something every time I force myself to see my work with new eyes.

Maturity is gained with trials and errors, I sometimes think the greatest thing we can share is our failures and even a better share if we give the lesson of learning from them to others.  Thanks for reading my blog and I hope it gives you courage to lay it on the line and give others the opportunity to see your work and in the process give you new found growth and strength in your work!  Take care and Happy Happy New Year to Everyone!

Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com

*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.

Paintmorphication….or watching the paint grow….

Last of 2011, on stretched canvas in layers as deep as the emotions have run all year.  I thought it would be nice to show the progress of this painting, which will be the last one that will be started in 2011, and will probably be finished sometime in 2012.   I am not sure if it is a  good move or bad move to expose the underpinnings of my work, but my goal with blogging was not to self serve myself; but to share what I have learned through my process of painting. Therefore, I find it almost impossible to not give the stages as they unfold.  I have begun to get in a habit of photographing work in stages for just this purpose.  I one day want to teach workshops again, and get into that field but the timing is not right for my life right now.

The beginning of all of my work starts with a gesture, often there is not much visually to  the eyes of others, but in my mind it tells the whole story.  It is the trunk on which I will add the branches that will enhance and glorify the story.  I find in the gesture stage I am finding the spacial relations that will work best for my work.

 Not much here to brag about but somehow in my mind’s eye this is the structure I want in this piece.  Notice the figure is the vertical and the horizontals break into the figure and connect it to the sides of the canvas.  I am thinking this gives the figure a connectedness it would otherwise not have with the whole space.  It is a lone figure like most have been this last year, I am thinking on the concept that we come here alone, we interact and learn and then we leave alone.   I feel the time I am most connected to myself is when I am alone, maybe this is why I paint, I am alone 90 percent of the time.

Beginning layers covering the words

I wrote down thoughts that had held me back this year, thoughts that had hurt me most and then I began layering the paint over the words and the gesture drawing.  There is a bit of madness in this method, and I only do this when there are strong emotions running rampant in my life, and the end of the year is very apropos for this action.  The layers will cover the words and bury them under layers, in the hope that  they will never emerge again.  I wonder if any of the collectors understand the blood, sweat and tears that go into the paintings that they collect.  I often wish I could tell someone the story behind the piece they are buying but then again, that might not be the best idea. It brings to mind there is beauty in sadness as well as in happiness.

layering and layering week twolayering and layering part 2 detail of face

Today,I find the changes happening in the paint are parallel to my feelings about the painting.  I have found this painting almost an extension of myself and through the  layers the painting has  lost parts and pieces of that connection, only to find them again in another stroke of paint.  This is the time when your inner confidence has to kick in, otherwise you will give up when you lose something you love in the painting.  You have to persevere and know that although, you may not find it again something better will emerge.  I particularly find the faces in my work have to go through representational stages and then be distorted and lost to be found acceptable to me. It is now in this stage that paint takes on the life in the painting.  The words of the last year are completely covered and the games begin.  The paint will now dictate the emotion of this piece by the texture and quality that will transform the surface and give it a richness that will evoke thoughts deeper than the figure alone could ever conceive.   This is the beauty of paint, it has the unique ability to transform the surface both in tactile ways and in visually. Oh, did I mention how much I love paint….

Day three of layering stages detail of face

More to come later on this painting….but for now I hope everyone has a Happy and Blessed New Year and that what is to come will far exceed any expectations that you may have…

Take care and

As always thank you for reading and I hope you find a sliver of inspiration in my work and words.

Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com

*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.

Scarlet Gloves by Cathy Hegman

Update on Scarlet Gloves by Cathy Hegman
60 x 36 inches acrylic on canvas

Tis the Season

New work is beginning to happen in the studio…thoughts of how this year has gone by much too fast have been on my mind as of late. There have been things to attend to  other than the making of art,that have kept me out of the studio for almost a week, with the exception of  a sprinkling stolen  of moments; in which I just abandoned the important tasks and had to get some paint on my hands.  I feel a terrible disconnect from my life, if I am out of my studio for more than a day or two. I can literally feel the cords of depression wrapping around me and tightening their hold.  Today found me in the studio all afternoon and into the night.  I feel like a weight has lifted, and the bonds have loosened and I am free again….at least for a while.

I love the beginnings of paintings, they are at their most possible stage and the ideas are endless and flow with ease.  Here is  a detail shot of one that is on the easel this month.

thinking Scarlet Gloves…of course that could change tomorrow!

This  detail shows a bit of the texture I  have achieved so far .  I know at this point the gloves are rather orange but they are at their earliest stage at this point, and I think with layers and veils of hues on top of this orange hue they will have a really vibrant scarlet effect.

A couple of layers more….at this point it is too soft and fragile I will let it cure tonight and hit it again in the morning…

More to come later …..

Have a blessed and very Merry Christmas!

As always thank you for reading and I hope you find a sliver of inspiration in my work and words.

Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com

*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.

Weight of Balance a work in progress

I have decided that there is no way to make my mind slow down, unless I commit the thoughts to paper or canvas. There is a time of rest in between finished works, that is brief but so welcomed.  I have not attained that feeling lately; as I have four or five paintings in the studio, each with some room for completion, but at a point where it is to be found only through deep thought and careful marks.  These are trying times for me.

My work is somewhat like a family in its formation; they are at times at odds with each other, but still connected by the blood of medium and the hand that made them  The figures in my work are depictions of mental thoughts; that lurk and ramble inside my head, until they eventually find their way down the brush and  into my work.  I see them as familiars, something intrinsically a part of both my life and my work.

Flight fascinates me, and having a son as a pilot, I feel somewhat compelled to paint about flight on occasion. There are delicate balances in flying that must be kept in order to safely fly.  I think that is apropos for me right now as I feel out of balance in life with the state of unfinished and unrest in my studio.  Here is a work in progress that is circling with the landing gear down but has not quite made it on to the runway.

This is the beginning of the piece….a figure with the  gesture of curiosity.

The addition and subtraction of layers …the covering and uncovering of artifacts leads to  the texture that I desire, not only physically but mentally.  There is something that happens in between the layers that  seems to breathe new life into the painting. I am not sure if it comes from the time spent on the piece or the effort expended.  I feel this painting is  close but not quite there at this point, but I  thought I would share the progression of the work….I also added a part of my son’s flight charts that gives the formula for weights and balances for pilots, it just felt right to include it at this point.  There is always a chance   it might disappear under the layers in the future.

As always thank you for reading and I hope you find a sliver of inspiration in my work and words.

Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com

*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.

Blurred Wonderlanding

Figures for me, are always in motion, sometimes; it is  a transient and almost palpably mental movement, but the motion is always present. I find that I blur the lines on most if not all of my work, there is something comforting to me  in the feeling of making lines that cannot confine the figure totally. It seems to define an emotion in me, that permeates my work and my life.

Incognito work in progress by Cathy Hegman

I think it comes from the feeling that most of my life is comprised of  the out of focus moments.  I am caught off guard by what I think I know about my place in life; only to find it is quite something else.  Where do I fit into  this life? I constantly find myself seeking to define my  space, the place where there is simply love and acceptance.  My figures  are a type of haiku for various  moments of reality.   I refer to this as the blurring, a time when we almost feel needed and wanted only to find we are simply an afterthought and the deepness that invades with this discovery.

detail of work in progress by Cathy Hegman I find hats and gloves are still something I feel a deep connection with; so my figures are usually either wearing them or referencing them in some way

I am painting the emotion of afterthought, the remembrance, the space between knowing and forgetting.  The time where we are in full motion, a gestural time where details are not needed, we recognize the shapes of the movements as familiar and defining.

Incognito work in progress by Cathy Hegman I like my figures to have a forward motion as if they are coming toward you...I think this is something deep seated in my psyche to have them passive aggressively seeking your attention, or maybe I just think they look good this way.

Perhaps it is my age and the shortening of my time, but I am finding myself checking my work less and less for any decorative value, and more and more for my relationship to each piece of art I create.  I am not finished until I find my connectedness with each painting, the small part of my life that is found somewhere in the paint and canvas recognizable only to me, that I leave behind  marking my place and time here.

Thank you for indulging me with your time!  I hope I give you a nudge to dig deeper in your art, or your love of art, and find a  more personal connection .

As always thank you for reading and I hope you find a sliver of inspiration in my work and words.

Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com

*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.

Thanksgiving….comes early

Today, finally after several weeks of being lost in the chaos of life, I find my muse.  She, he, it has been hiding.  I would see only glimpses of the familiar come in and out of focus with every stroke of paint, only to be lost again in fog of indecision.  I find myself in this state time and time again, after life events happen. I lose my way and  I cannot focus on my art, it takes a back seat to problems of illness, children coming home, life shattering news, and often times fits and bouts of extreme happiness or elation, often it is not the event just my response.  These are the times when I find myself questioning not only my worth as an artist, but also my direction and intent in my work.  I become disjointed from all that is and has been my world, and fall headlong into what I like to call the purgatory of depression.  I know I am in a bad place, but just simply cannot find my way out, but somehow  I know there is redemption in the sanity of waiting it out.  There is something so important in the waiting, it is a time of stepping back and taking a long hard look at life. Today I am free and out of  depression purgatory and back into my familiar self again. It feels good and new again. I probably should not post this kind of thing; but somehow I am quite sure it will ring with a deafening clarity to other artists and I think we all like a bit company in our despair, it lets us know we are not alone.

That being said I am back racking up layers of paint on canvas in a distillation process of finding the figure in shape and form. Oddly enough the desperation painting, I have done over the past two weeks has rendered me with a much more thoughtful eye to what is needed, and more importantly what is not in my work.  There has been much fervent overpainting in the studio and clawing and scratching of canvas, but it has given way now to a meditative, more assured application of pigment that is not only healing the wounds left on the canvas from the past few weeks but giving it a new life. These are the days that I love.

Here is the most current work on canvas…It is an amalgamation of  two series I have been working on, the dark Alice series and the manipulation series.  See if you can find the connections of the two….here is a hint :  the title is Shadow Puppets……

Shadow Puppets by Cathy Hegman

As always thank you for reading and I hope you find a sliver of inspiration in my work and words.

Cathy Hegman AWS,NWS,MSWS,MOWS, SAA,SW, ISAP
www.cathyhegman.com

*All artwork and text included in this blog is copyright protected by Cathy Hegman and should not be reproduced in any form or fashion or used without the written permission of Cathy Hegman. All text and artwork included in this blog are solely the thoughts and original art of the artist, Cathy Hegman, unless otherwise noted, and are meant only to be guidelines and thoughts for others to read.my blog.